Guys' Rules daw

The Guys' Rules (not complete...natamad na ata ako...=)­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­...ang haba na)
>My comment/ Danielle’s

1. Men are NOT mind readers.
> Translation: Men are insensitive.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
> Guys don't need it up, do they? Isipin nyo na lang...sino ba ang magluluto?

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
> Here in Manila, almost everyday, you have boxing events...talo pa telenovela. Buti pa nga telenovela...matagal pa rerun. Sa boxing, halos replay ng replay. Seriously speaking, ok lang naman sa akin ang boxing. EXCEPT!!!! Except...kapag nanonood din ang baby ko. NO violence kapag andyan siya, no wrestling, boxing, or even mga telenovelas. Kasi naman, mas barbaric pa nga sa wrestling ang ibang telenovelas ng Pinoy (buhusan ba naman ng asido, itulak sa hagdan, sabunutan sa putikan, etc)

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
> Ahmm..window-shopping pwede na? Hehe. Walang pambili...=)

1. Crying is blackmail.
> Bakit? You still don't give in...medyo lang.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
> But when we do we speak, we are called "naggers". Kahit one word pa lang...pikon ang guys.

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
> Watch out for some actions that will help you know the answers...
...Smile means YES. Eye rolling means NO. Got that?

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
> Kaya pala noong nanliligaw pa lang kayo. Sabi niyo: I can lend you some ears…nge.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem. See a doctor.

> Girl: Hi Just got back from the clinic.

Guy: So HOw was it? What’s the Cause?

Girl: The doctor said IT was you.

Guy: What, how, why did he say that?

Girl: he just asked me how long we’ve been together. i said 17 months. and he said…Oh, I see.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

>Kasi nakalimutan na nila…Bakit makakalimutin ang guys?

The following Rules I need the lines of my baby danielle:

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria 's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.

> Danielle: “ASUSSSSSS!”

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

> Danielle:“ HINDI NAMAN….”
(kapag pinagsabihan siya na amoy pawis na siya sa kalalaro)

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of them makes you sad or angry, then we meant the other one

> Danielle: “ Ano talaga?”

1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

> Danielle: “AYOKO, ikaw lang muna. di pa marunong ako. maliit pa ako eh.”
One time, pinapabuo niya lego...Ako yung nagbubuo, sasabihin nya kung saan ikakabit...kala ko ewan lang.tapos... nagmukhang kotse, minsan bahay, minsan mukhang ewan...yun pala...ipis daw!

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

> Translation: Men can’t do multiple tasks at the same time.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

> Danielle: “ASUS…ganun talaga yun? hindi naman”

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.

We have no idea what mauve is.

> Danielle: “Ay, di mo alam? Bakit di mo alam? Nakalimutan mo?”

Tinanong niya minsan ano English ng muta (gummy eye secretion kaso one word meron ba? Napaisip tuloy ako…)…kapag nag-isip ka ng kaunti, sasabihin na niya yan… “Ay, di mo alam? Bakit di mo alam? Nakalimutan mo,ha?” tapos kalabit-kalabit pa sa balikat.Pang-asar talaga. Kapag totally di mo alam..sasabihin niya…”Aaah, di alam. Di alam pala.” Lalayo, tapos ikukwento pa sa unang makita..."Di niya alam muta"

My Tibak Blood

I think this is still familiar to you. I am so happy I recovered this. I composed the latter part about the impeachment(Erap's). My friend said she saw this on a newspaper at that time. Akala din niya forwarded message ko lang. Sabi ko, nya...ako gumawa non=) Ginawa ko kasing telenovela ang impeachment non. Yey! Narecover ko! (Wala naman sigurong mag-aatempt na ikulong ako no?)

WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

KINDERGARTEN TEACHER: To get to the other side.

CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

SIGMUND FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

BILL GATES: I will soon release the new Chicken Office 2002, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook.

CHARLES DARWIN: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected and evolved over time in such a way that they are now genetically endowed with the capabilities required to cross roads.

RALPH WALDO EMERSON: The chicken did not cross the road. It transcended it.

BILL CLINTON: I did not, repeat, did not have sexual relations with the chicken.

ERAP: Ang media ang may kasalanan diyan!

MIRIAM DEFENSOR-SANTIAGO: " Aha! I know it! That chicken crossed the road to provoke me. I move to permanently hold in contempt that chicken. I request for a restraining order, your honor, so that the chicken would not be able to cross the road again!"

RAMON REVILLA: "I concur, your honor. You see, may timbangan ako ng manok sa bahay. Doon ko nga nalaman na 96 grams ang 1000 na bills ng 1000 pesos to make 1 million pesos. See 96 grams? 96 grams talaga! Malapit yun sa isang kilo...eh sa 96 grams talaga eh...Pero huwag nyo akong tanungin kung ilang kilo ang manok na nagcross ng road. Eh, di ko nakilo eh. I guess, takot syang pakilo. Baka kulang sya ng 96grams. In short, kulang sya ng isang kilo."

EMMA LIM: Para po uminom ng iced tea, your honor!

CHAVIT SINGSON: Eh, nililito nyo lang po ako, your honor. Di ko alam kung bakit nagcross yun ng road. Wala naman sa ledger ko kung bakit. Nililito nyo lang po ako. Nililito nyo lang po talaga ako.

CLARISSA OCAMPO: It crossed the road to go to the office of, I am sorry, Mr. Estelito Mendoza.

ESTELITO MENDOZA: Whether I will quit as a defense lawyer of the president or not, shall depend upon the decision of the president himself, not the crossing of the road by the chicken.

RAUL ROCO: It is a noble profession to be a chicken and to cross that road!

CHIEF JUSTICE HILARIO DAVIDE: Unless there is an objection, the chicken can cross that road. [end]

After searching the net to find it, nakita ko siya sa: http://members.tripod.com/~bethong/erap34.htm

Pisay jokes

Filipino Vocabulary

IF YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND THIS, YOU ARE NOT A TRUE FILIPINO!

1. Use TENACIOUS in a sentence.
   I went to the shoe store to buy a pair of TENACIOUS.
2. Use DEDUCT, DEFENSE, DEFEAT,and DETAIL in a sentence.
   DEDUCT jumped over DEFENSE,first DEFEAT and then DETAIL.
3. Use DEPOSIT in a sentence.
   I hear dripping in the sink. I think DEPOSIT is leaking.
4. Use PERSUADING in a sentence.
   Jack and Jill got married on June 1, 1997. So on June 1, 1998, they are going to celebrate their PERSUADING anniversary.
5. Use DEVASTATION in a sentence.
   Every morning I wait for the bus at DEVASTATION.
6. Use IRAQ, IRAN, and EGYPT in a sentence.
   IRAQ is bigger than a stone. IRAN faster than my friend. EGYPT is smaller than a truck.
7. Use PAUL four times in a sentence.
   PAUL, be carePAUL, before you PAUL in the PAUL.
8. Use CUISINE in a sentence.
   I hope you studied last night because our teacher might give a CUISINE math.
9. Use PAMPERS and PAPERS in a sentence.
   At the gas station, some people PAMPERS and some PAPERS.
10. Use SCHOOLING in a sentence.
    Ring, ring.....Hello? Who SCHOOLING?
11. Use TOENAIL in a sentence
    To get to Kaneohe, you must go through Wilson Toenail.
12. Use PENIS in a sentence.
    Before my boy go outside and play, I tell him to penis his homework.
13. Use EMPIRE in a sentence.
    Ready! EMPIRE!!!
14. Use DEFICIT in a sentence.
    When I go to the pool, I check out how DEFICIT.
15. Use HOSTESS in a sentence.
    Hello? Hello? HOSTESS?!

e-Hawaii productions: Lokal Kine Jokes [web page]
http://www.e-hawaii.com/fun/jokes/fvocabulary.htm.[Accessed 29 Mar 2007].


----
Nakakamiss yung sa Pisay na tatambay either canteen, backlob, frontlob or while strolling.
Tapos, imbento ng mga salita at walang nagpapatalo...
Kunwari sasabihin ng isa..

"Naku nagQUIZ kami sa Algeb."
"QUIZ? Di ba yun yong nilalagay sa pandesal na palaman?"
"Aah mali ka dyan, yan yung nilalagay sa QUIZhole..."

"Nya...Hindi no, yun yong pag nagmamadali ka(with matching actions), tatakbo ka ng very QUIZ."
"Alam ko kasi yun yong sinisindihan pag new year..yung QUIZZes."
"Ay naku, stop it. Tigil na. I QUIZ."
--
May time naman na ang hilig nating magdelete ng words! I mean, letters lang ang sinasabi...as if nagkakaintindihan tayo??? Minsan oo. Pero minsan...hilarious ang effects.

1st roommate said...

"Grabe, nakita ko si C(crush) kasama si G(girl)
Tuloy naA ako(asar) kay G(girl)
As in sobrang H(hate)"

2nd roommate thought...

"Grabe nakita ko si C(someone's name that starts with C) kasama si G(GREEN...usually colors ang codenames ng girls sa crush nila)
Tuloy naA(arouse) ako kay G(GREEN)
As in sobrang H( hot)."

"As in A ka kay G(with matching hilakbot sabi ni 2nd roommate)???

"OO no. A na A. (1st)"

Pero magkakaintindihan din naman sila don't worry pag dumating ang point na di na sila magkaintindihan...Ikukwento na ng buo ang lahat. Well, ganon kami sa girls' dorm.=)

niña

Yey! nandito na si baby ko.
Sinundo ko sa Batangas yesterday.

Sabi ko...
"Hi, baby...(kiss). Namiss mo ko?"
"Opo, nanay"
"Mahal mo ba si nanay?"
"Opo."
"Bakit mo mahal si nanay?"
"Eh kasi mahal kita eh"
"Bakit?"
"Hindi ko alam basta mahal kita"

Aaaayyyy....
Nakakaloko na no?

Pwede ng magpaiyak ng lalaki. DUH! hehe.

Unsaid, Unsaid.

...I miss those hot days under the sun....=(

silent leaves kissing my lips
whispering nothing, nothing.
and the blowing of the wind, ever so silent
tunes quite unheard, unheard.
the grass I use as my bed
doesn't even whimper, whimper.
and the smoke in my eyes
never tried flowing, flowing
and the waiting cheeks
still dry, still dry.
but I know I've cried a thousand times
or maybe even more, even more
or I may just be crazy
cause I don't know,I don't know.
have you just been a dream all along?
but you felt so true, so true.
I'm sorry, I fell in love with you.
I thought I won't, I won't.
but I did and ...goodbye.
but both...unsaid,unsaid.

------

Bridges and waters below

My friend, we cross this bridge of Comfort
everyday
and each day, I notice,
raging waters below,
posing as calm, starts to rise...
while you, just crossing the bridge as usual
laughing and talking about shells and stones
and strings and her.
and while you're caught in the Comfort
or total bliss of Nothingness and Uncaring,
I... caught in the total bliss of your
Nearness.
but Silence almost always finds us. She
wraps us in her arms, and the bridge,
sometimes feels longer than before,
because, below my own bridge, I notice,
raging waters,
posing as calm, starts to rise
So please---
"Don't look down."

----------
These poems I dedicated for someone whom I loved for 6-7 years. We usually walk going to our next class. Kaso bigla na lang akong nawala. Di na ako nakikisabay... iniwasan ko siya. Naiinlove na kasi ako sa kanya. Natakot akong mahalata niya. Nahihiya ako.

He should have been a bestfriend. He could have loved me...

Asa pa!

I am just here to romanticize unrequited love. Ok lang marami naman kami. Kasi crush ng bayan yun.

---
Alam na niya ngayon or 5 years ago..hehe.

This is one of my greatest achievements...
How? I asked him for advice.
I told him that I have this relationship with a guy ...that exact relationship I had with him...kausap, kasama,kakwentuhan,kaibigan...Syempre with all the blushing, I told him how much I loved him. I told him everything so that he can expertly guide me. I told him that he may be the only one that could and have the right to advise me. My question, that time was...Should I walk away or should I stay? The dilemma is by staying it seems that I'm fooling him because I'm falling for him. I don't want him to think that I'm using our friendship for my gain. That being near him makes me happy and my day complete...(*blushing*)...That was why when I became close to you...I decided to walk away. I don't like to cheat you.

Sabi niya?

"Stay."
"Ha?Ulit?"
"Stay...at least you know where it'll lead. If it's mere friendship...then it's just that. If he gets angry. Fine. At least you know where you'll start again. Or else...you will be pondering about it endlessly ."


Siyempre kinuwento ko to sa mga taong crush din siya. At yun lang ang iniintay nila...

Sabi tuloy nila...
"Aaaayyyy...(the kind of Aaaayyyy na ...wow,that is so sweet, that is exactly what i want to hear or what I am hoping for him to say)"
---
Ginawa ko ba? Yes. I stayed. It was good that I stayed. Kasi I found out that he is not yet the man for me. I just developed a platonic feeling over him. Parang kapatid. If I walked away again, until this time, I might still be infatuated with the idea of "what ifs , unrequited love, etc"... Buti na lang hindi. Hehe....At least one question answered. =)
---
I walked away,
I stayed,
Now, I'm staying...

for R*** R***** F********

The Wanderer

I walked barefooted rubbing each gravel of granite with blood
Just to know if I could still feel
I was careful not too see the Sunset
because Time's entwined with goodbyes
as dark curtains heightened my fears
of finding more about pain,
You.
numbness.
it entered me for my blood has dried
quenched earth's thirst for company
and now.I am free...to seek other sunsets
to whisper more goodbyes
to clouds.to seas.to crystals in my eyes.
till dried...and wounds healed for new.
I will see more of you.
dead and still---loved.

-------------
This is my own poem posted at www.poetry.com

This is for my crush when I was in College. Cute siya. Mukha siyang backstreet boy. Lagi ko siyang nakakasabay pumasok sa school every Tuesday/Friday. Magaling magswim. One of the best in UP kahit freshman pa lang siya. Aminado mga kakilala kong Atenista na high school pa lang sila tinatalo na niya sila.

Then, he died.

Unknown reason. Nagkasakit na lang tapos daw gumaling naman. Excited pumasok...kaso nagising na di na makabangon...and a day or a few days after, wala na.

Naiyak kaya ako noon. Sabi ng guy na blockmate ko...
"Bakit? Di mo naman siya nakilala."
"Iyon na nga yun."

Wala pa akong pera non. Ang lahat-lahat ng naipon ko noon ay P300. Kasi stipends ko binibigay ko sa nanay ko...Yun lang natitipid ko pag di maglalunch...Gusto kong pumunta noon sa burol niya at ibigay sa mga magulang niya ang tatlong dadaanin...

Kaso hindi ko nagawa. I was a complete stranger. Hindi nila maiintindihan.

So one day, I just wrote this poem. Ito na lang inalay ko for him.
(I know my husband won't mind, he has lots. Besides, our daughter is a living poem!)
----
This is a metaphor for all the crushes I had before.
Nung time na akala ko you cannot forget.
Ganon pala talaga yun...parang sa sassy girl...makakalimutan mo lahat...pag may dumating na bago.

Sa mga next posts na lang yun... haba na.

TUTUBI or NOT TUTUBI!

TUTUBI... TUTUBI ...
Huwag kang magpahuli sa batang mapanghi!


May tinuturuan akong Assumpsionista hindi pa nakakakita ng tutubi!
Grabe. Tinanong ko...

"Bakit ka may tutubing stuffed toy?"
"Kasi it's cute eh, kaya we bought it."

Tapos nagshare ako ng experiences ko sa mga tutubi at mga nakita kong tutubi in my life...

"...Alam mo may mga tutubing blue,red, orange, yellow, green, violet, blue-green...may mga tutubing malalaki, at mga maliliit...ang tawag doon tutubing karayom. Red ang favorite ko."
"Miss, stop na, seryoso ka? Nakakatakot ka"

Imagine...akala niya, nangloloko ako at nagpplay-psycho!

Magcomment nga kayo kung may namiss pa akong kulay...

Desperate to be a housewife

When I was younger, I was embarassed everytime someone asked me what were the jobs of my parents. Grabe naman si Duls... Ganito kasi yun...wala silang work...so the obvious next question would be...Paano kayo kumakain wala palang trabaho nanay at tatay mo? Paano ka nakapag-aral sa private school? Sinong nag-papaaral sa iyo?

See?

Ang dami kong kailangang sagutin. Although as early as grade school I used euphemisms to alleviate our situation in the eye of other people. Instead of writing N/A or none...I used housewife for my mom's, and "retired" for my father's.

My father had to stop working early because he had pulmonary problems. He had TB and asthma... and now, he has emphysema. He has to take lots of medicines everyday just for him to continue living. I advise you to quit smoking and drinking at the same time or else you might not be strong enough to go to your child's college graduation. Masama talaga pagsabayin yun. Kung di kayo naniniwala sa akin, take a course in UP Diliman called Physical Chemistry 153 so that you'll be familiar with solid-liquid equilibrium...etc...

Kaya di ako nagsmoke or uminom ever. Not a single puff or drop.

Choice nyo naman yan though...except sa smoking...hello! IISA lang ang atmosphere natin di ba? IISA lang naman itong mundong to.

OFF topic na ako. Pero seriously, stop smoking.

Going back to my topic...

Now that I'm working as a tutor...napansin ko na BIHIRA na ang housewives!
Every parent is working! Ang mahal na kasi ng gatas. Buti nga may gatas ako kaya umabot ng 1 year and 10 months ang breastfeeding ng baby ko...kaya marami na rin ang nagpapatutor ngayon kasi parents have to work and earn. Although marami na rin ang housebands ha...Their wives are working as nurses or caregivers or call center agents.

Hay naku, ito na yata ang dream ko. Gusto kong maging housewife!!!
Kailan kaya yun?

Yun lang.

----
Paano kami nabuhay non? Ang daming talbos ng kamote sa paligid no! Ang paligid namin ay puno ng mga puno (mangga in 2 varieties, alatiris, tsesa, chico, avocado, guava in 3 varieties, saging in 3 varieties, cocoa, santol in 2 varieties,...) Minsan, pipitas lang kami at magtitinda sa tapat ng bahay namin(este ng lolo ko pala na ninong ng nanay ko), ok na! May mga manok din kami noong nangingitlog araw-araw.

silip

March 27, 2007
16:15pm

sumasabay sa hangin
ang galaw ng telang tumatabing
sa mundong di ko pa nararating

nang-aanyaya ang sayaw
isip ay sumisigaw, humihiyaw, pumapalahaw
nais ko, o anong nais kong makatalik ang araw!

...
hanggang sa hindi napapansin
humahaplos na sa akin ang dilim
pilit akong hinihimbing

sumasabay na ang lumbay
sa lamig na sa aki'y dumadantay
pagal na katawa'y hinihimlay

...
bago pa man ako pumikit
umusal ako ng dasal sa langit
na bukas katabi ko aking paslit
at ang aking mahal, na sa aki'y nakakapit

dudungaw pa rin sa bintana
mahahalina...
maiinggit man o aasa
bukas na muna

-------------
This poem is all about working away from home. I really am looking forward to spending much time with my kid. So is my husband. Nagmamadali. Kung sana lang ay manalo sa lotto!Imagine, 3 years old na siya! Next year or actually, this school year ay mag-aaral na ito. Kaunti na rin yung panahon na makakapiling ko siya as a kid. Na ganoong kainosente. As if. Hindi na nga siya ganoong kainosente. Pagpasok niya, grabe. Lalo na. Mas marami na siyang magiging kaartehan. Imagine as early as 3 ay ayaw na halos magpahalik! Ano ba yan!

Sabi ko minsan,
"Naglalaba ka ba? (Hindi po.)
Namamalantsa? (Hindi po.)
Naghuhugas ng pinggan? (Hindi po.)
Nagluluto? (Hindi po.)
Eh ganon pala eh..'lika rito pakiss muna. Kasi, ang bata, ang trabaho talaga nila ay magpakiss.
("Ganon talaga yun? Ano talaga?").

Sobrang sarcastic. As in. Ewan ko ba kung saan natutunan yang talaga talaga na yan.

Isang kwento:

Minsan, Sabado. Sabi ng Tatay niya.
"Baby, pupunta tayong mall."
Ay, may nakalimutang eemail si Tatay sa opisina (Malapit lang bahay namin sa opisina).
Sige punta muna don sa office. Pag pasok sa office...

...sabi ng baby kong magaling
" Tatay, (with matching kalabit sa balikat while my husband was typing and while looking at the paligid with matching rolling of the eyes, and with all the sarcasm and innocence she can muster), mall ba ito?"
...
Iba na talaga mga bata ngayon no?

sine curve

March 26, 2007
17:55 pm


Love is a sine curve.

Love is a sine curve?

Love is a sine curve!

--
Saang stage na kayo?
----------------------------------

One of my batchmates got married. Instead of giving her advices, tinakot ko ata.
Sa simula infatuated pa kayo...tapos..mag-aaway...(hopefully) magbabati lagi at (prayerfully/wishfully)...you'll love each other stronger...and don't forget...more problems will challenge you again and again and again...cycle no? Kapit lang. Don't stop praying...
--
Actually, Love is not a sine curve. Dapat exponential. Only the problems tear us down, but what we feel are actually stronger than before.
---
Love is not a sine curve kasi God is Love. His love does not diminish. He never moves away, we do. Whenever we move closer, we feel a certain high...
---
So ano yung sine curve? Life or how we see it.
---

Unica ija

Mar 26, 2007
17:34pm

Supling
na sa aki'y piniling
humiligkumapityumakapyumaposhumalukipkip
at bigla na lamang





napalay








o



o anong Hirap?


ilang luha ang

p
um
a
p
a
t
a
k


hanggang


(hikbi)

ngngngaayoon.

(hikbi)

...

Hindi ko kasama ang anak ko.

Bago ko siya iwan,
sabi niya sa akin "Huwag mo akong iwan, iiyak ako."
Sabi ko..."Kailangan."

"Bakit mo ba ako iiwan?"

"Kailangang magtrabaho ni nanay"

"Ano talaga?"
---