Nada de nada

This is well, impromptu.

I have not said much in a while. I don't know if i should be jovial about it. Does this mean I was so busy (hopefully productive)... that I was not able to steal a little time from my work? Then, I realized, this is so ironic. I feel so empty.

I have been in a maelstrom of emotions lately. I have to stomach the idiosyncracies of some people, including my own. I am so exhausted. I have been pondering about lots of things. But to those reading, I presume you also have to put up with this vague material.

I am just tired.

I know many of you felt this way. Sometimes it just makes you cry...intensely...sporadically... and uncontrollably.

Just like what I'm doing today. I am crying about what happened last night.

Last night, I came home from work feeling so down. My husband still needed to do overtime work so it was only me and my kid. We were about to sleep but she wanted to play. But please, help me, it was quite late. I told her no, and I think not in a nice way. Did I shout? I don't know anymore. I just told her I'm so tired and turned my back. Then I heard sniffling and a muffled voice saying " Sana andito si lola" repeatedly. Then I cried. I've never heard her cry like that. I usually hear her crying violently when she's physically hurt..but this was different. It's more of a grown up cry...sobbing...yet controlling what you really feel inside. She evn covered her face with a pillow...I hugged my daughter and we just cried. I told her I'm sorry I always go to work and leave her behind. I really wanted to play with her...

Then we made peace and she wanted to play with me again! Hah! I told her, "Pagod na talaga si Nanay."

Do you know what she did? Sabi niya..." Ay, sorry, sorry di sinasadya...Mahal yan. Mahal yan si Nanay." Then she sang me a lullaby! " Tulog na, tulog na si nanay ko...tulog na ang nanay ko. Mahal yan, mahal yan ni Danielle. Tulog na ang nanay..."

..........

I hope you learned something from this. I don't need anymore to explicitly get it across...

God bless us, parents and children, the same.